The Choice...

Placing a child for adoption is not something girls dream about. It is not a pretty fairy tale that has a happy ending and it is not an easy road. You dont get to move on or forget, even when you do move forward. No matter where you go or what your life brings that choice is there. Hovering, ghostly and silent, in your life and in your mind. For most of us, it is a quiet ghost, one we dont mind sharing our time with. Though painful to look at it is also a peaceful reminder of an event that blessed many lives. I wont say it is always good, feelings are messy, and just as many times as you are grateful you may also feel guilty, ashamed, sad, angry, jealous or alone. At least for me, those feelings are always balanced by the joy I feel at the wonderful life my child is leading.